I style

Ours

              While looking at his pictures I suddenly remember how our relationship was for the past two years and ten months. We met in an awkward way and then surprisingly fell in love to each other. We never pass the “getting to know each other” stage because he immediately courted me and so I did say yes. At that time I never felt of any fear of committing to someone like him whom I don’t know that much because what I had in my mind is that I am afraid that if I will say no, I might lose him, and regret it for the rest of my life. So while into a relationship all we did is have researches and discoveries about each other’s personality which made me think that it made our relationship more exciting.

                As time goes by, we’ve known each other, both weaknesses and strengths. We opened up everything because we don’t want secrets in a relationship. So no matter how it will affect our relationship the most important is you confess it. So far so good, we were able to accept everything and that made us fall in love with each other even more.

                 Like other relationships we passed different trials. I broke up with him three times because of being childish and weak. I lost my hope for several times because I don’t know until when are we going to keep this relationship as a secret to my family. And I lost the hope that if one day I will confess it to my parents will them able to accept it? Or things will get worse. But if there are three times when I broke up with him, I also asked him to come back to me three times. Those rainy days in our relationship made me remember the very reason why I said yes the time he was courting me.

                The love for each other keeps on growing. The relationship we treasure is getting stronger. Especially now, that we have our own little angel.

September 24

            Life is full of surprises. It is either a good surprise or a bad one. But no matter what it is the only important is that you are willing to accept it because you believe that everything happens for a reason.

            When I was waiting for the result I’m not wishing that it would be either negative or positive. Yes, many youth experiencing the same thing would want it negative but I was different. I don’t know why there’s a part of me saying I hope it’s positive, that part of me is excited to be a mom.

            My friends expected me to cry when I saw the pregnancy test in two lines but unexpectedly it was not tears that showed but rather smiles drawn. They all got shocked when I didn't even cry a bit but rather puzzled when it started. A friend told me maybe I was still in the middle of shock but no, I was not. I am definitely happy and amaze that there’s a life inside of me. I don’t see this kid inside of me as a problem for I see this as a blessing, a hope and a reason to be better.

            Shame is one thing that many people would ignore. What will be the reaction of the people who knew me? What will my family do the moment we confess my pregnancy? How can we do our responsibility? Yes, I am somehow alarm of those things but whenever I think of this little angel and the person who did this to me all my worries disappeared. I’m bearing the child of the person I love so much and I trust him that he won’t let us live in miserable.

            Now you may say I’m deeply in love with my boyfriend and I won’t deny that it is true. But the thing is I’m in love to the extent that it gives me courage and positive outlook in life, not being blind and stupid to tolerate his wrong doing. I’m certainly aware of my actions and so thus with the decision I make. As what they say, love yourself first before you love somebody else.

            In life we may commit mistakes and as long as there’s a way to make it right, do it. As what the saying goes, if there’s a will, there’s a way but in my case, taking the responsibility is the best thing I could do. So much in love brought me in this kind of situation therefore I will show that love to make everybody understand not just me but the both of us.